Why I stopped going to the movies and dining out

Tomorrow is Sunday. I’ll curl up on the couch with a good book, maybe watch a movie, eat good food (we already ordered pastries from Taji’s Bakery which will be ready for pick up in the morning) and just chill. Not that there’s anything special about tomorrow. For years, that’s how Sundays have been. It wasn’t always that way though.

Up until the girls were in their early years in college, our Sundays followed a familiar routine: go to the mall (do some shopping when needed), dinner out and movie (almost always the last full show because it’s less crowded).

We don’t anymore. Although I sometimes feel nostalgic about family Sundays, I have to live with the fact that my daughters are adults who have their own priorities and friends to go out with. But, to be perfectly honest, I don’t miss the moviehouse, dining out and spending time at the mall.

The moviehouse

I never understood why many moviegoers consider the backrest of the seat in front of them as a foot rest even when the seat is taken. Some of them even take off their shoes / slippers / sandals before putting up their feet. They’d push their feet against the backrest repeatedly in a rocking motion disturbing the one in front and even those near the one right in front. Unless you’re watching in an ultra-pricey moviehouse with La-Z-boy recliners, moviehouse seats are welded to each another. Rock one and your rock the entire row. You can’t imagine how many fights I’ve gotten into because of that ghastly practice.

I can never comprehend why moviegoers converse instead of watching the movie then ask their companion what’s happening. Don’t they realize that if they talk less, they’d understand the plot better?

I remember watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe when the girls were still in grade school. I distinctly recall the day because what happened became an op-ed piece in the column I was writing for a broadsheet. A group came in with an infant. AN INFANT. Why the infant was allowed inside the moviehouse, I cannot fathom.

If you’re familiar with the film, you’d know that the opening scene is the London Blitz. It was 1940, Nazi Germany attacked London and there were sirens, crashes, bombings, explosions galore… The infant started bawling. I’m sure the noise scared the child, but the mother did not seem to care, and did not bring the baby outside. Instead, she stood up, walked up the aisle to the last row and, on her feet, rocked the child while audibly shushing non-stop. But the crying did not stop; neither did the shushing. Meanwhile, it just totally ruined the experience for us.

When mobile phones and social media became the norm, it behooves me why moviegoers have to constantly check messages and feeds while the movie is playing. The notification sounds and light disturb those who want to focus on the film. Worse, some of them take calls on speakerphone.

For the last decade (yes, even before the pandemic), I’ve been happily enjoying movies with my streaming subscriptions. With chips or popcorn (sometimes, even wine) and unhurried bathroom breaks. Plus, I really love subtitles.

Dining out

It’s not for lack of good food. It’s customer service, really.

There was a time when we had lunch at a non-cheap Filipino restaurant in Greenbelt 5. My older daughter was a vegetarian so I asked the waiter if they had vegetarian dishes. And he recommended fish. I really didn’t know how to react. Waiters are the restaurant’s direct line to customers and they should at the very least be properly trained to answer questions about the dishes on the menu.

Another time, pre-pandemic, my husband and I went out to meet my brother at an Asian restaurant in U.P. Town Center. It was to discuss business (my brother’s and mine). We chose that restaurant because we liked the food. And because we were going to talk business, we decided to meet at 2.00 p.m. after the lunch crowd had gone and long before the dinner crowd trickled in.

We were the only customers, so we expected peace and quiet. But, lo and behold, two restaurant employees were occupying a table at the dining area, heads over arms folded on the table, visibly asleep and one was snoring loudly. If there was a manager on duty, apparently, he or she tolerated the practice.

After COVID restrictions were lifted, my younger daughter and I were so excited to see the outside world, so we decided to spend an afternoon at U.P. Town Center. We headed to a chicken place where we had enjoyed the food many times before (at another branch though). It was around 3.00 p.m. when we went in and only one table was occupied. We seated ourselves, asked for the menu and ordered.

The three people occupying the other table were conversing animatedly over a Youtube video that was playing on a phone propped on the table. Not only could we distinctly make out their conversation, we could hear, quite clearly, the audio of the Youtube video.

After the waiter placed our food on the table, I asked him to call the manager. Then, I asked the manager to please tell the people at the other table to turn off the phone’s speaker because the noise was disturbing us. To my surprise, as the three people stood up after turning off the phone, they gave us dagger looks and went towards the kitchen behind the counter. They weren’t customers. They were employees on their break.

Seriously, restaurants should provide an employee lounge. And train waiters to explain the menu. Among other things.

Until then, I’d rather cook at home.

The mall

Our mall trips became less and less frequent as malls evolved into hangouts for hordes of people enjoying free air-conditioning. These days, all I encounter are young children running around and squealing unsupervised while their parents are doomscrolling on their phones or tablets. You know, like the entire family is enjoying just another day at home.

But, let me rewind a bit.

Landmark in TriNoMa was the first mall we turned our backs on. We used to go there because I liked the supermarket. Beyond the food shopping, there was the mall with comfortable free seats for shoppers who wanted to rest their feet, but it was nearly always impossible to squeeze in. People were sleeping in those seats. Some of them even take off their footwear, curl up fetus-style, and occupy three to four seats as if they’re napping at home on the couch. Later, the tribe grew and the practice spread to other shopping malls.

And then, there are the pushy marketers. You’re strolling and checking out the display windows then someone walks up to you offering a sniff of perfume, a chair massage, an eyebrow service, a skin treatment, a taste of this and that, a condo… They’re pushy and they have no sense of personal boundary. Sometimes, they stand too close you’re skin to skin. Foul. Especially after COVID, that is simply unacceptable. To call them annoying would be an understatement. They are offensive. The ones selling perfume are especially offensive as they practically shove that perfume-soaked tissue on your face. I just walk away as fast as I can.

When malls started the trend of transforming open spaces into “events places” with blaring speakers, we stopped going altogether unless absolutely necessary (Ayala Feliz even hosts basketball games inside the mall complete with cheering squads and full-on speaker volume sportscasting, believe it or not). If we have something to buy in a shop that one only finds in a mall (hello, Powermac!), we buy what we need and make a quick getaway.

Tomorrow is Sunday

I’ll curl up on the couch with a good book (and with my slippers off, of course), maybe stream a movie, eat good food and just unwind. No mall, no dining out, no moviehouse.

You know that 2023 movie Leave the World Behind where Julia Robert’s character ends a monologue with “I fucking hate people”? I feel her. Perhaps not for her exact same reasons. But I feel her.